potty etiquette : bathroom etiquette

plaque in Erlanger Women's East bathroom

Okay so this is my post.

I have a confession to make that some people will think is quite odd, but people need to know. I have this thing about germs in public bathrooms. Yes, I will say it. There is always a piece of paper between me and anything I touch in a public bathroom.

Well, almost. Let me explain. After doing my business in the bathroom, whatever it may be, I have a process I go through to get back out of the door. This is how it goes.

1. use hand to dispense paper towel
2. use hand to turn on water
3. get hands wet and soap up
4. wash hands
5. grab dispensed paper towel and dry hands
6. turn off water using the paper towel
7. dispense more paper towel using said paper towel
8. throw used paper towel away
9. grab already dispensed paper towel
10. open the door using paper towel
11. use foot to prop door open
12. reach back to throw paper towel away and exit door

Yes, this is what I do, and I do it every time. Unless of course like in an airport when the bathroom does not have a door I stop at step six, or if the door opens out then I use my foot to open the door. Though, outward opening bathrooms are very rare. I have only seen a few of them.

So you are asking me "Why is he posting this on his blog"? Let me tell you. When Leslie was in the hospital for Elliot's birth I went into the public restroom and found to my complete delight this plaque above every sink. At first I felt justified. I felt as if I could come out of the ?I am a public restroom germ freak? closet, and so I am. Though, I have to show one great flaw in the hospitals thinking. It is that not everyone follows their six steps to restroom germ freedom. It just takes one to ruin it for the whole bunch. You see, their problem is that they have neglected the door issue. How do you get out without touching the door handle? You can't! If you miss step 7 through 11, then you might as well not even wash your hands. There are lots of people that do not wash when they finish their business and then they go straight for the door. In my book the door handle is the dirtiest place in the whole building.

You might think there is a bit of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) evident in this post, but I can say with total clarity that if a hospital sees bathroom hygiene and bathroom etiquette as an issue then so will I. Plus, if OCD was present then I would constantly have to reopen my refrigerator door every time I closed it just to make sure my cat or my kid did not jump in while I was closing the door. Oh wait, I already do that! lol